Worst month ever !

I'll probably never forget this month... so many things happened... made so many mistakes... lost a very dear friend. Its been a fortnight that I lost a dear friend... I dont know who should be responsible for this? Many a times I feel was it foolishness? Or is it my unnatural ego and unforgiving attitude? Have I started thinking that I am the wisest person on this planet, the only sane human on earth? I made choices that I knew that I will regret for my whole life, I was aware of all the that would happen to me, but then why did I do that ? There is no explanation. I always thought that I am very rational, very understanding, very patient. But I still did things completely opposite. I wonder if I will ever forgive myself, but a loss is a loss. I long to see u my sweetheart, I long to touch you. I know you have the blood of the warrior clan, you will not compromise. But can you be saner that I am. Please save me from my misery. And then comes my mother's illness. I cannot bear the sight. I cannot see her suffer, I find myself so helpless. I often get angry at what's happening to me. I am falling. I am getting impatient.

Gasping for breath, but got no fear

Everyday of my life, I run around to earn a living. To have a better future. I live life the way I want to. All I know to do is sign songs of my misery. My struggle keeps me away from the world. I dont have friends to talk to. I dont have a family to share my worries. Now when I say I dont have friend and family, I mean that I am never there to talk to them or 'be' with them. It is kinda hard, but I never worry. I dont have time to worry! Whenever I feel that I am not what I am, I get scared. But there's something special this time. I have no fear. There is something that has kept my heart aloft. Is it the season ? Or is it someone... all I know there IS something special.

And I so wish I could talk to you today. I've never tried so hard and failed. Waiting for you to come back.

I carry your heart with me

This is for you dear!

I am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear;
And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
And the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
Which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart
I carry it in my heart

-E E Cummings

Its raining money !!! :)

Ever since I joined Convergys, I've always felt good. Although its far from my home, but the pay compensates. I usually dont get to enjoy the money i earn as i need to pay for my anim course, but this month, things are different. I will earn atleast $125 more this month :) .... so with more cash and a credit card, i had an overhaul. Bought 2 new shoes, a new mp3 player with an awesome earphone. And I havent even said anything about the gift vouchers... if anybody (female) thinks I am rich enough , call me for a date.

Where is love?

Where is love?
Does it fall from skies above?
Is it underneath the willow tree,
That I’ve been dreaming of?

Where is she
Who I close my eyes to see?
Will I ever know the sweet hello,
That’s meant for only me!

Who can say where she may hide?
Must I travel far and wide,
Till I am beside the someone who,
I can mean something to.

iRobot

Well , its been ages that I updated my blog... but I finally got some time. My life's become mechanical. Wake up ... work ... train ... sleep. A perfect cycle, any change may disrupt my life. By nature I cannot do anything thats regular, repeating, 'boring'... but thats what my days, weeks, months have become. I am too tired of this life, but I cannot complain. I chose to make it this way. I feel like a prisoner bound by chains waiting for a trial. I console myself with the days about to come. Of a life that I always dream of, to soar like a phoenix like fire in the night sky.... fiery yellow wings beating against the cool wind. But that will not come so soon... I need all the strength that I can preserve. I dont want to fall fighting, I want to win. People say God is unfair when they are in trouble.... I say God gave me this trouble since I can overcome it. I keep waiting.... enduring, like a fallen phoenix, for the day I will rise. I am only waiting... I wake up ... work ... train ... sleep... I have become a robot.. I am a robot... iRobot.